When Resting Feels Uncomfortable

For some people, rest feels like a luxury or a reward after a period of hard work. But if you’ve experienced trauma or prolonged stress, resting can feel anything but relaxing. Instead, you might feel restless, uneasy, or even unsafe when you try to slow down. This discomfort often stems from a hyper-vigilant nervous system—your body’s way of staying on high alert to protect you from perceived danger.

Hyper-vigilance is a survival response. It can keep you scanning for threats, even when there’s no immediate risk. While this served an important purpose during difficult times, it can make rest feel unfamiliar or even threatening now. Your body might interpret stillness as vulnerability, triggering feelings of anxiety or the urge to keep moving.

The good news is that you can retrain your nervous system to experience rest as a pleasure. Acknowledging that you don’t find relaxation calming is the first step in that nervous system retraining, because noticing and accepting what actually feels good or bad for you paradoxically makes future change more likely. Activities like mindfulness and grounding exercises can help signal to your brain and body that it’s okay to let go.

Remember, it’s normal to feel uncomfortable at first. With practice and patience, you can gradually rebuild trust in your ability to rest and recover, one small step at a time.